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D’var Torah for Friday, September 1, 2023

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Happy Pesach!!!

Oh, yes…you read that correctly…Happy Passover!  I bet not a lot of people are actually thinking of Pesach at the moment; however, from a “Torah-portion-perspective,” it’s almost impossible NOT to think of Pesach this particular week…leading up to the High Holy Days.  You see, there are words from this very week’s Torah portion that are at the very beginning of the Haggadah, the very start of the telling of the Passover story – “Arami oved avi” – translated as…”all sorts of different translations.”  One popular translation is “My father/ancestor was a wandering Aramean.”  Another popular translation is “An Aramean tried to destroy my father/ancestor.”  Adding to the confusion, some believe that “my father/ancestor” refers to Abraham, some say Jacob, some say…  Regardless of the “who,” consider for the moment the two very different translations regarding the “what” (or the “action,” if you will).  It’s true that our people have wandered – through history, through time, through all parts of the world.  Also true – others have tried to destroy us, from time to time, and throughout time – some more devastatingly so than others.  What’s really true is some combination thereof…  While people have tried to destroy us, we continue to survive, and exist, and thrive – impacting the world in so many profoundly positive ways.  We must never let go of the hope and faith necessary to carry us through any period of wandering – physically or spiritually.  At the same time, we must never take for granted our very existence.  We must appreciate all that our people have/has experienced through time in order for us to thrive and exist as we do, even as we offer the very best of ourselves to others.  During this month of Elul, this time of introspection and contemplation, let us be forgiving, even as we pray to be forgiven.  L’shanah tovah um’tukah – wishing each and all of us a healthy and happy new year.

Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Eric J. Lazar

D’var Torah for Friday, August 25, 2023

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Parshat Ki Teitzei

In this week’s Torah portion, Parshat Ki Teitzei, we read, “A woman must not put on man’s apparel, nor shall a man wear woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is abhorrent to the Eternal One, your God.” On its face, this prohibition seems pretty simple, but even at its most basic, literal level, it is still a rather complex rule. What are men’s and women’s apparel? Are pants only for men? Are necklaces (like the chai chain I see around so many men’s necks) only for women?

When I was a student cantor living in Jerusalem, I wore a very lacy, very feminine hand-crocheted yarmulke. One day a taxi driver yelled at me – asking me why I was wearing “men’s clothing.” I pointed to my lacey yarmulke and asked him whether he knew any men who would wear it. Ultimately though that entire line of thinking doesn’t really reflect what the Torah is trying to teach in this passage.

Torah verses do not exist in a vacuum, nor do they tend to make complete sense when taken out of context. The sentences surrounding this prohibition neither talk about clothing (it seems to me like it would have been a good spot to discuss the prohibition against mixing linen and wool) nor do they talk about gender. Instead, this section of the Torah is dealing with ethical mitzvot – the sacred obligations between us and our neighbors. The preceding verses discuss our obligations to return lost objects and to help lift our neighbors’ animals if they have fallen in the road. The section that follows talks about rescuing a mother bird from her nest and the importance of building houses with guardrails on the roof to protect our guests from accidentally falling. And in between we get this verse about clothing. What does it really mean?

The great medieval commentator, Rashi, interpreted the verse to be about deception and infidelity. He believed that the verse prohibited dressing up as someone of the opposite gender in order to gain access to their private spaces with intention to seduce and commit adultery. Maimonides (12th century) believed that it was to prohibit idol worship. The classical scholars of our tradition tended to view this verse in its context – prohibiting “cross-dressing” for the sake of deception – where it would cause harm to our relationships with our loved ones or with God. According to Rabbis Elliot Kukla and Reuben Zellman, the meaning of this verse is “we must not misrepresent our true gender in order to cause harm.”

If a transgender woman dresses as a man in order to be deemed acceptable by society, she is being dishonest and misrepresenting herself. It is a sad thing in our

culture that many feel that they have to do this for their personal safety. But I believe the Torah is telling us that we should be true to who we know we are on the inside. Anything else is a deception and misrepresentation of personal truth and you cannot build relationship, connection, and community with a shadow.

Shabbat shalom,

Cantor Sally Neff

D’var Torah for Friday, August 4, 2023

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So, I’m no English major; however, I am somewhat familiar with the language.  For example, I know that the word “conditional” means, among other things – IF what’s described in one part of a sentence is true, THEN what’s described in another part of the sentence COULD also be true – the eventual outcome is dependent on a particular “condition” being true.  That other part of the sentence doesn’t necessarily have to be true, but it needs the first part of the sentence to be true, in order for it to be true as well.  Confused…?  You ain’t seen nothing yet…

Causation is similar, grammatically, yet very different.  When a statement deals with “cause and effect,” that means that, WHEN the first part of a sentence is true, the next part of the sentence will also become true, just because it is an “effect” of the “cause” – one thing happens (and must happen) precisely because it is an effect of the first thing happening.  Allow me to clean things up a bit.

This week’s Torah Portion – Eikev – begins with one of my favorite lines in the Tanakh: “If you do obey these rules and observe them carefully, your God will maintain faithfully for you the covenant made on oath with your fathers: God will favor you and bless you and multiply you…”  The reason why this line is one of my favorites is because of the discussion that generally ensues when people disagree as to whether this statement indicates condition or causation.

Imagine a parent says to their child, “If you break curfew, you will be grounded.”  If the child then stays out past curfew, the “grounding” doesn’t just happen automatically…the parent must go ahead and either ground the child or not.  If the parent does ground the child, that is an “action” that the parent actively takes toward the child.  In effect, the parent is actively deciding to take action and punish the child, in response to the child staying out after curfew.

Imagine, now, that a parent says to a toddler, “If you touch the hot stove, you’ll get burned.”  “Getting burned” is not a “punishment” – it’s not something that the parent either does to the child or “arranges to have happen” to the childe; rather, it is quite literally a consequence that results from having touched a hot stove.  No one is punishing the toddler; it’s just what touching a hot stove causes to happen.  Back to our Torah verse…

Some believe that “If you obey these rules…” is causal.  In other words, if we do all that God commands, it naturally follows that our lives will be full and rich and good – being blessed with a good life is a natural consequence flowing from having followed God’s commandments.

Some believe that “If you obey these rules…” is conditional.  In other words, if we do all that God commands then, if God so chooses, God may (will?) grant us good lives.  This perspective, of course, leads beautifully into a discussion about reward and punishment – certainly relevant, yet we’ll wait to have that discussion at another time – or, perhaps, not…

How do you read that verse?  CAUSAL – fulfilling God’s commandments results directly in our being granted enriched, fulfilling lives, just like touching a hot stove results directly in our being burned, OR…  CONDITIONAL – God either “rewards” or “punishes” us for either fulfilling God’s commandments or not.  I would love to hear your thoughts…

Shabbat Shalom,Rabbi Eric J. Lazar

D’var Torah For Friday, July 28, 2023

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The Israelites are all gathered at the edge of the Promised Land, ready to enter, ready to continue their journey of Jewish Peoplehood into the future, ready to move forward – just as soon as Moses…stops…talking… Moses – the one guy remaining who will, in fact, be remaining – in the very literal sense of the word.

Some say that Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land because of the incident with the rock and the water. God told Moses to ask the rock for water; however, Moses yelled at the rock and beat it with a stick instead. Moses and the people did get their water, but Moses was punished by not being allowed to continue along with the Israelites…

Some say that Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land because the people pressured him into arranging for scouts to cross into the Land in order to see what they would be facing once they would all enter the Land together. Clearly, it’s not a good thing to show lack of faith in God.

Some say that Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land because he killed the Egyptian, who was attacking the Israelite, way back in Egypt, while he was still being raised in Pharoah’s home. Imagine – even before Moses left Egypt in the first place, before Moses was even chosen to be the Israelites’ leader, it was already determined that he would not be able to see his leadership responsibility through to completion.

Regardless of the reason, Moses doesn’t get to go; however, he sure has a lot of thoughts to send on over without him. Moses spends the entire Book of Deuteronomy reminding the Israelites of all the things that he hopes they have learned along the way – all of the Commandments, all the rules and laws regarding living a Jewish life and so much more. Moses also makes a very interesting statement:

“And now, O Israel, give heed to the laws and rules that I am instructing you to observe, so that you may live to enter and occupy the land that Adonai, the God of your fathers, is giving you. You shall not add anything to what I command you or take anything away from it, but keep the commandments of your God Adonai that I enjoin upon you.” Deuteronomy 4:1-2

Anybody out there making up their own new commandments? The general consensus of the commentators is that we ought to be doing our best to understand the commandments that we have, and to bring out the essence – the very meaning at its core – of each commandment given to us, as a way of informing how we live our lives Jewishly in the world.

It is incumbent upon us to know and understand well, what is expected of us – something relatively uncomplicated for us to do, if we put our minds to it. Perhaps you have participated in our regularly scheduled Taste of Torah on Shabbat morning? Perhaps you have participated in our regularly scheduled Torah Potpourri on Thursdays? Perhaps you’re still planning to drop in for one or more of those sessions at some point in the future…?! There are myriad opportunities for Torah Study here at RTR – Shabbat mornings, Thursday afternoons, Shabbat Services, or just reach out to say that you’d like to sit and study a bit – I would love to join you!

Whether I see you at any of the “regularly scheduled” sessions, or we arrange to study together at some other time during the week, I look forward to spending time studying Torah with you soon! Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Eric J. Lazar

D’var Torah For Friday, July 7, 2023

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Interrupting is encouraged…

Please let me explain…

Pinchas was a zealot. He was very, very interested in making sure things went “the right way.” What is meant by “the right way?” Well, for Pinchas, “the right way” was however Pinchas wanted things to go. Little, if anything, could keep Pinchas from ensuring that that was the case, even at the cost of others’ lives.

Of course, even as Pinchas was overly committed to having his voice heard and having rules be followed, sometimes taking someone else’s life in the process is going just a bit too far.

When we see each other at RTR events in general, and at Shabbat services in particular – beginning with this coming Shabbat Evening (my second Shabbat Service at RTR overall, and my very first Shabbat Evening service here as a leader…ever…), I have two very special favors to ask of each and every one of you.

1 – please be kind, and gentle, as you do your best to make your way over to me and to make sure that we meet and have a chance to say, “Hello!” and to wish each other “Shabbat Shalom!”

2 – even as you are being kind, and gentle, please also be zealous, and please do be sure that we do connect and that we do get the chance to say, “Hello!” and to wish each other “Shabbat Shalom!” – even at the cost of others’ conversations.

In other words…PLEASE INTERRUPT!

One of the things I love to do most in the world, is to share the things I love most in the world, with the people I love most in the world. Which means that one of those things that I love to do most in the world, is to share Shabbat with all of you.

Whatever each of us may do during those “ordinary” days of Sunday through Friday, we each know full well (perhaps even more than we might care to) what it feels like to be “overbooked’ and “overprogrammed” and “overscheduled.” Work, school, business meetings, family, friends, school activities, social engagements, team sports, spectator sports, etc., etc. – our weeks are generally packed (sometimes to overflowing) with commitments and appointments, and there hardly seems to be enough time to take care of our own selves…

Enter…SHABBAT!

Shabbat is a time for each of us to wind down, re-group, re-energize, re-lax, and just “to be.” We enter the sanctuary, having left the outside world outside, and we look to share with the community all that is sacred and holy in ourselves and in our world, that sometimes gets overlooked and pushed aside by our hectic week. To quote Alice Walker, from “The Color Purple:” “Tell the truth, have you ever found God in a church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks waiting for him to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did, too. They come to church to share God, not find God.”

Just as each member of our congregation comes to Shabbat worship services in order to share God, and leave the work world outside, so, too, I share with you the need/desire/opportunity to experience Shabbat while leaving the “work world” outside. Granted, I am, technically, “working” during Shabbat services on Friday evenings and Saturday mornings; however, on some level, I do experience the spirituality and warmth and comfort of Shabbat along with everyone else – it’s a different “form” of work, for me.

One of the most special parts of Shabbat services, is that people come together who otherwise wouldn’t ordinarily come

together. Each individual has their own schedule, family circumstances, responsibilities, etc. and, so, we all spend the rest of our week in a million different places. Shabbat evening and morning are something that all of us share, regardless of the rest of our respective weeks.

With that in mind, I try to mix and mingle with as many people as possible during the Friday night Oneg and on Saturday morning as well. Sometimes, much to my chagrin, I’m not successful at making a personal connection with everyone who is present. As I’ve been known to say, I’m very good at having conversations, but I’m not always great at ending them. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, the next time you and I are sharing a conversation, please don’t think that I’m only concerned about ending it – that’s not my intent. Rather, I want to be sure that conversations that need more than just a few minutes, are allowed the opportunity to go on for as long as is necessary. Shabbat may not be the best time for every conversation that needs to happen.

So…allow me to combine my two favors, into one request…if you see me having a conversation with someone during a Friday night Oneg or on Shabbat morning, or at any other time we’re in the RTR building together, and you’d like to say “Hi!” to me, but you don’t want to interrupt a conversation already in progress…PLEASE DO INTERRUPT!!! INTERRUPTING IS ENCOURAGED!!! If someone has a need for counseling or a need to speak with me personally and/or privately, I am available to make appointments on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. I have met with people over breakfast. I have met with people in the evenings after other meetings and appointments are long over. If there is a need for an extended conversation, there are other days in the week for us to arrange for those extended conversations to take place. On Friday evenings and on Saturday mornings, however, it is my intent to be available and accessible to all who are there to share Shabbat, even if only for a moment or two. So, if you’d like to say “Hi!” please know that I would also love for you to say “Hi!” – PLEASE DO INTERRUPT!!!

BY THE SAME TOKEN, if you and I happen to be having a conversation during a Friday evening Oneg or at some other point, and someone comes along and interrupts us – PLEASE BLAME ME – NOT THEM!!! Please remember that I JUST ASKED THEM TO DO IT!

So, I look forward, as I will every week, to sharing Shabbat with each and all of you, and I also look forward to being interrupted…often…so that I can be sure to connect with as many people as possible during the Oneg and other communal experiences!

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Eric J. Lazar

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