D’var Torah for Friday, August 25, 2023

Parshat Ki Teitzei

In this week’s Torah portion, Parshat Ki Teitzei, we read, “A woman must not put on man’s apparel, nor shall a man wear woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is abhorrent to the Eternal One, your God.” On its face, this prohibition seems pretty simple, but even at its most basic, literal level, it is still a rather complex rule. What are men’s and women’s apparel? Are pants only for men? Are necklaces (like the chai chain I see around so many men’s necks) only for women?

When I was a student cantor living in Jerusalem, I wore a very lacy, very feminine hand-crocheted yarmulke. One day a taxi driver yelled at me – asking me why I was wearing “men’s clothing.” I pointed to my lacey yarmulke and asked him whether he knew any men who would wear it. Ultimately though that entire line of thinking doesn’t really reflect what the Torah is trying to teach in this passage.

Torah verses do not exist in a vacuum, nor do they tend to make complete sense when taken out of context. The sentences surrounding this prohibition neither talk about clothing (it seems to me like it would have been a good spot to discuss the prohibition against mixing linen and wool) nor do they talk about gender. Instead, this section of the Torah is dealing with ethical mitzvot – the sacred obligations between us and our neighbors. The preceding verses discuss our obligations to return lost objects and to help lift our neighbors’ animals if they have fallen in the road. The section that follows talks about rescuing a mother bird from her nest and the importance of building houses with guardrails on the roof to protect our guests from accidentally falling. And in between we get this verse about clothing. What does it really mean?

The great medieval commentator, Rashi, interpreted the verse to be about deception and infidelity. He believed that the verse prohibited dressing up as someone of the opposite gender in order to gain access to their private spaces with intention to seduce and commit adultery. Maimonides (12th century) believed that it was to prohibit idol worship. The classical scholars of our tradition tended to view this verse in its context – prohibiting “cross-dressing” for the sake of deception – where it would cause harm to our relationships with our loved ones or with God. According to Rabbis Elliot Kukla and Reuben Zellman, the meaning of this verse is “we must not misrepresent our true gender in order to cause harm.”

If a transgender woman dresses as a man in order to be deemed acceptable by society, she is being dishonest and misrepresenting herself. It is a sad thing in our

culture that many feel that they have to do this for their personal safety. But I believe the Torah is telling us that we should be true to who we know we are on the inside. Anything else is a deception and misrepresentation of personal truth and you cannot build relationship, connection, and community with a shadow.

Shabbat shalom,

Cantor Sally Neff